Quotes

Question: "What is the difference between God and a chiropractor?"

Answer: "At least God does not think that He is a chiropractor!"

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"Chiropractic is to science, what Scientology is to religion." - Paul Lee

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"Scientology is the psychiatric equivalent of combining the mafia and homeopathy." - Mark Probert

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"90 percent of chiropractors give the rest a bad name."

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(Disclaimer: the following joke does not represent my personal views. It is the type of joke that could be considered a "fill in the blanks" joke, IOW, substitute your favorite dislike.)

"A woman who was diagnosed as being terminally ill was told she needed a brain transplant using a 1-1/2 pound brain.

"She was also informed that a 1-1/2 pound brain of a surgeon would cost $500 and the 1-1/2 pound brain of a movie star $600.

"She replied that since her father had been a famous Chiropractor, she would prefer a similar brain. That's fine, she was told, but that will cost you $10,000.

"What?" she replied incredulously. "If a surgeon's brain only costs $500, why does a Chiropractor's brain cost $10,000?"

"Do you have any idea how many Chiropractors it takes to get 1-1/2 pounds of brain?" the doctor replied."

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Letterman's "Top 10 Signs You've Gone to a Bad Chiropractor"

10. When you walk, you make a wacky accordion sound.

9. Keeps saying, "A spine is like a box of chocolates."

8. Repeatedly asks, "You a cop? You sure you aint' no cop?"

7. Over and over, you hear crunching sounds followed by, "Uh-oh."

6. There's a two-drink minimum.

5. At end of session, lies down on the table and says, "My turn!"

4. He was nowhere near Woodstock and yet he's covered with mud.

3. Rushes in late to your appointment still wearing his Burger King uniform.

2. Hints that for an extra $50, he'll "straighten" something else.

1. You're fully clothed and he's naked.

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(Disclaimer: the following joke does not represent my personal views. It is the type of joke that could be considered a "fill in the blanks" joke, IOW, substitute your favorite dislike.)

"An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his heart surgeon.

"The surgeon said, "We have three possible donors; tell me which one you want to use. One is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died in his private plane. The third is a chiropractor who just died after practicing for 30 years."

"I'll take the chiropractor's heart," said the patient.

"After a successful transplant, the surgeon asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did.

"It was easy," the patient replied. "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."

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Q: How many chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Only one. But it requires 20 visits and a full-body x-ray to get it done!

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Q: What do you call a chiropractor for pets?

A: An animal cracker.

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Q. Why did the computer see a chiropractor?

A. Because it had a slipped disc.

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"Manipulation isn't all it's cracked up to be." - Paul Lee

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"Pop and pray is going the way of history." - David R. Ferguson, DC

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"It is the ultimate irony, that the very foundation of chiropractic - its uniqueness, corner-stone and reason for existing - is also its Achilles' heel! Since the "chiropractic subluxation" is a fiction, it makes a very poor foundation on which to build a profession. It being a figment of D.D. Palmer's imagination, defending it has been like telling a series of lies to cover up the previous ones. As with the leaning tower of Pisa, the chiropractic profession is undermined and betrayed by its illusory foundation, and should fall 'with a great crash', just like the 'house built on the sand by a foolish man'." - Paul Lee

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"Unsupported by science, chiropractors must either fall back upon Palmer's pantheistic views or admit that the "subluxation" theory is erroneous. Without the subluxation theory, chiropractors are reduced to manipulative therapists practicing a very limited modality shared by osteopaths, physiatrists, sports trainers, physical therapists and others. Without the theory, chiropractic's claim that it is a unique and comprehensive "alternative" to standard medicine is lost." - Dr. William T. Jarvis, PhD

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"Since that which is unique about chiropractic is an illusion, what right does chiropractic have to exist? Unique illusions are the legitimate tools of magicians, not of health care professionals." - Paul Lee

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"Unfortunately, I do have to say that I do understand why academics would be concerned about chiropractors "preaching nonscience to gullible undergraduates." Our profession is full of technique gurus, acupuncturists, and chiropractic philosophers preaching nonscience to gullible chiropractors! . . .

"You indicated that you are interested in how "we as a profession" should handle this. We as a profession can't handle this, because we are not willing to commit to a science and evidence-based paradigm of practice. . ." - Dr. Fred Kourmadas, DC, MS

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"If chiropractic, as a profession, continues to cling to the chiropractic subluxation as the reason for it's right to exist going forward, I think it is making a big mistake.

"History does not fault a group or movement for making an observation and stepping forward on a premise that time and science proves false. The fault is placed when science explains the observation and it goes unheeded." - Charles Bender, DC

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"Practice builders teach chiropractors to bring their patients "relief" by "adjusting" them. And that is just what they do! The manipulation of asymptomatic persons has one, main purpose and result: It "adjusts" the income of these chiropractors in an upward direction, by "relieving" the patient of the money in his wallet!" - Paul Lee

"I understand there are many who feel that a "real" chiropractor would not practice this way. Fine. If being a real DC means wellness care, asymptomatic care, excessive x-rays, poor working relationships with MDs, rejection of scientific data, bizarre techniques, outrageous claims, and the same treatment each visit regardless of the problem, then I don't want to be a "real" DC." - G. Douglas Andersen, DC